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No — he had tried all kinds: comedy, tragedy, prose and verse, the light curtain-raiser, the short sharp drama, the bourgeois-realistic and the lyrical-romantic — finally deciding that he would no longer “prostitute his talent” to win popularity, but would impose on the public his own theory of art in the b of five acts of blank verse. Yes, he had offered them everything — and always with the same result.
Ten years of it — ten years of dogged work and unrelieved failure. The ten years from forty to fifty — the best ten years of his life! And if one counted the years before, the silent years of dreams, assimilation, preparation — then call it half a man’s life-time: half a man’s life-time thrown away!All the while one phrase of the old man’s buzzed in my brain like the fly about the melon. ‘I’ll show him what money can do!’ Good heaven! If I could but show the old man! If I could make him see his power of giving happiness as a new outlet for his monstrous egotism! I tried to bl him something about my situation and Kate’s — spoke of my ill-health, my unsuccessful drudgery, my longing to write, to make myself a name — I stammered out an entreaty for a loan. ‘I can guarantee to repay you, sir — I’ve a half-written play as security . . . ’
